Everyone's Souls are Guilty

I like my revenge boiling hot and my forgiveness slightly cooled.

I may end up forgiving you in the end, even if you don't forgive yourself, but I will never forget.

For now though I think I'm going to slam my fist into the ground and make myself known to the soft earth hiding underneath the dying grass.

Maybe I should water it a little bit, though I think the salt will just make it worse so I suck it up.

I can't be seen as a weakling in public; only the strong survive, after all.

So instead I pick the brown grass so the soil will dry out in the sunshine. I won't let it be scared if I can't scream too. Face your fears.

As soon as the patch in front of me is completely exposed and sharing all of it's secrets, I stand up and brush myself off.

Walking over the tree I have the sudden urge to cause more harm to unfortunate and helpless beings.

I kick it so the leaves fall off like my tears fall from my eyes. I wish it was raining so it wouldn't be so obvious to all the watching surveyors.

At least now I don't cry alone.

I think of the branches as his arms, as I snap them off so he can never lay a hand on me or her or him ever again.

It only takes a moment for me to realize that I've stopped breathing and so I sit and take a little time to recollect my sanity.

Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Counting to ten only makes it worse so I abandon that and focus on the wind blowing through my hair and brushing my face with careful fingers.

I stand up on sturdy feet that once shook from uncertainty of the freighting future I face. Take one step unsure of my balancing act I am about to preform.

More confident I stride inside and to the kitchen because I'm famished. Chocolate and Ice cream? No more like pain killers and sedatives.

Lay down on the couch. Deep breath in. Deep breath out. The fan blows wind on my face just as earlier as I slip into a world of disappointment because it's so barren, but it's better than here.