Am I too easy?
Do I make myself too accessible?
Because it seems as though every time I start to see things working out,
It turns out to be that I've let the wrong person in.
I wind up alone again.
It hurts
And I want it to stop.

No more remorse

I got to spend the last and first day of two separate years with a man who loves me, and I love him.
With a puppy causing mischief in a two bedroom apartment in Colorado.
With a baby growing to the size of a blueberry and looking at ultrasound photos.
With little to no stress and knowing everything will work out in the year to come.

2016 is going to be just like the last half of 2015.
Full of happiness and laughing,
With my best friend and lover by my side through everything and I by his.
Full of snoring and hugs,
And just being able to be my weird ass self.

And yes. Things will not always go to plan.
But during this month we will be planning out the year to come.
In 1 month we will learn the gender of our child.
In 2 months we will spend our first Easter together.
In 3 months it will be our anniversary.
In 4 months will be my very first Mother's Day.
In 5 months will be Adams very first Father's Day.
In 6 months we will be moving to Oregon.
In 7 months we will have a child coming very soon.
In 8 months our puppy will be 1 years old and Adam will be 23.
In 9 months will be our first year as a family on Halloween.
In 10 months we will be in Utah spending thanksgiving with everyone.
In 11 months I will turn 23.
And finally in 12 months it will start all over again.

I'm excited for a year full of love and friendship.
For once I'm excited for the future.

Happy new year.