I was born to one of the patients before the explosion happened two years afterwards.
They moved all the patients except my mother and me.
I remember seeing her head bleeding and her unmoving body is what I snuggled against.
I wasn't scared and I didn't cry so they never found me.
So here in this hole I've stayed.
I eat the rats that grow to be as big as my forearm, raw,
And every once in a great while a visitor passes through,
usually looking for things to steal.
Sometimes they bring things called bread,
And sometimes my favorite they call apples.
Once I got so thirsty I tried to drink the water that was beneath the hole in my home,
But it tasted too bitter and made me throw up.
So now I drink the water that drips down the walls in the basement.
My mother provides for me.
She gives me the rats,
The Water,
This home.
Just last night she even sung me to sleep and laid next to me;
Stroked my hair.
But when I woke up she disappeared again just like she always does.
One day though, I thought I should leave her and this upset her soul most.
A visitor had come and he held my hand.
He told me that I should go with him and never come back.
So I did.
We walked out the doorway and I had never touched anything with feet other then smooth concrete
And rough rocks.
I think the grass was my favorite part.
He pulled me further and further down the road until I saw a little town that stunk of rotten fish.
He taught me how to read and write.
Taught me words like asylum, explosion, and alone.
He helped me learn what a promise was,
And made me make one to never leave his side.
But I made deals with men I shouldn't of.
As soon as the night fell that day,
She came to me.
She yelled at me and told me to come back home.
Told me I could never live this life with out her,
And she was right.
In the blackness,
I packed my bag full of apples and walked back to the top of the hill.
Mother following me the whole way.
The man returned the next day.
Told me he was looking for me and that I had scared him.
I told him he needed to leave.
But before I could shove him out the door,
The roaches came.
They crawled all around us and covered up the windows and cracks that let in light.
Leaving us fumbling in the dark for the door handle.
I paniked.
Desperately searched for a way out.
Then all at once the brightness from the sun blinded us and there she stood,
Screaming a deafening scream!
I couldn't handle it and wrapped myself into a ball on the floor, covering my ears.
I watched her shove him through the doors to the grass outside so hard that it died underneath his weight.
He stood up as quickly as he could and ran away.
With just a slight limp.
Mother came over to me and brushed my hair while looking me in the eyes.
"He came to kill you. You know that right?"
I was quite. This man who cared for me, didn't want me alive?
"The only thing he wants is for you to keep your promise you made, and since you broke it, now he wants to kill you."
Is that what a promise really is?
"But these walls will keep you safe. I will keep you safe. You are stuck inside just like me. Because this is the only place you can call home."
I've only ever heard her speak one other time.
Because she says it's hard for her to do.
But I believed her because she was my mother.
She would never lie.
Not to me.
Today I still climb the rubble and do as she tells me,
But I wish to go down to that little town again.
I want apples and bread.
But mother doesn't let travelers in anymore.
She scares them all away.
She's only protecting me, here in my home.
I think they called it, Undercliff Sanitorium once.
But now it has a sign on the front door,
calling it
Hell; Home of the Devil's Mistress.
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