Only in fairy tales

When he holds my hand,

I know we've met before. 

Maybe not in this life,

But this is too familiar to not have happened in another. 

His smile, laugh, and crazy personality

Are exactly who I imagined in my dreams. 

All he has to do is be next to me

And I'm happier then I've ever been. 

I know him. 

I know his dream one day is to live on the beach,

I know his favorite color is blue,

I know he believes there's a god but he struggles with it,

So he paints to get rid of the feelings. 

I know he feels it too,

I can see it in his eyes. 

I know at times he cries,

I know I've cried with him too. 

I know he's not perfect, but he is to me. 

I've seen the way he looks at me,

He's seen me stare at him too,

And I constantly ask him 

"Who are you?"

And 

"Where have you been? I've been looking for you!"

I feel like I have found the other half to my soul.
He reminds me of how beautiful this world can be.
He is my everything.

And though I am speechless
and unable to fully understand,
I am complete.

A family of trees falling

One by one, the ripples from the stone she threw, move closer to her and disappear.

They feel like memories, they almost reach her heart, but grow cold before they get there.

Freeze before they can evoke emotion.

The cool dirt under her feels inviting.

Nostalgic.

She takes off her shoes and walks towards water, pants rolled up on the bottom.

One toe dipped creates the same ripples as her small piece of earth did earlier.

       One foot.

                          Two feet.

                                              Eyes closed.

                                                                          Beautiful.

The sounds of birds fill her ears.

The wind blowing through her short hair pumps the blood to her veins.

The smell of wet dirt and oxygen, beat her heart and fills her lungs.

This place gives her life.

It's almost as if she forgot how to breathe in the city.

Like the nightmares she has, never came true.

They all just disappeared beneath her mattress.





The spider webs floating in the trees are old and abandoned.

The squirrels destroy them with their ambitions of reaching the top.

Never appreciating their beauty.

Glistening in the sunlight.


The pine cones are the future of the forest, even though they are small.

The leaves of the oak and quaky shake in fear of extinction.

All the fish want is to make it up stream to the lake.

And the bugs only want to not be eaten.


I suppose even here, it's just a race to reach the top.

We don't care about our own faults

There are things in this life, that not even the ones living it can understand.

Bad intentions are never intended.

Nor are they ever what I want.

You know, my mother is actually the one that got herself involved in this.

I was content to let you go out into the world, only to come back a couple of weeks later, with full realization of the lies you were willing to tell.

I was willing to let you learn in your own way. The hard way.

But now that it has caught up to you, you need some one to blame.

So as the water rises, and your head's about to go under, you can put it all on me.

Go ahead, lay it all on my shoulders.

But just know, that no matter how hard you try, I will never jump off my boat to drown with you.

And no matter how many times I have tried, you've never accepted my hand to pull you aboard.

So don't worry, I won't bother to try and help you any more.

Because when I do, you tug and tug and tug until I am in that water with you.


If heaven is how they say it is, and God does show you all the answers to your questions, maybe when you ask "What went wrong?" He will throw your mind to the past.

To all the times I said, "If you feel guilty then let's stop."

To all the times I pushed away reminding you that this is not something you wanted.

To all the times I brought your memory to your mission, but you ignored me.

Maybe He will show you how many times you initiated, and how many times I didn't.

He will show you, that overall, this was your fault.

And he will show you that that is why I am happy.

And you are not.


So don't act like I've received some trophy for seeing you in pain.

Don't tell me that I've won, because life is not a competition.

All it is is trying to find the eye of the storm and to move along side it.

Trying to see the sun, but not getting burned by it.


Don't pretend like this is all my fault, when you and I both know it takes 2.

This isn't the end for you.

Not even close.

You will have to learn to live with whatever happens, and happiness is only your choice.

I have no say in it.


See even though I am going through a lot, I am happy.

You have no rule over that.

I have to push through every day with a smile, because I wouldn't make it with out one.

I learn and I learn, that I am worth more than what I thought in the past.

More than what I was told by those around me.

I am happy because I want to be.

Not because I have to be, or I have everything happiness needs to exist.


Please, get through your life with a smile, not anger.

That's the only advice I can give you.

How it is

The quiet voices crawling down my wall

All speak of love as if it is a distant memory. 

They whisper of others laying in fields

And watching the stars. 

They tell tales of running down hills

With arms reaching towards the skies. 

They recall of the times of crazy laughing

And tickle fights ending in kisses and hair stroking. 

They remind me that what I had before wasn't love, 

But it was something. 

The quiet little voices come close to my ear

And speak in quiet tones so only I can hear. 

They tell me to remember the past and what it taught me

But to focus on the future because it's more worthy of my time. 

They hold my hand and guide my eyes towards his,

They tickle my stomach to remind me what love really is. 

And as we lay here and he looks at me like I am the last beautiful girl,

They disappear because I don't need them to remind me anymore. 

Every day I love him more than yesterday,

But never as much as tomorrow. 

I brush back his wavy hair 

And kiss him softly on the lips to let him know I care. 

I hold him close and fall asleep and so does he. 

We don't wake up until morning. 

I teach him things I know,

And learn things from watching him teach me. 

We talk and talk of things not even he used to know,

And he remembers. 

We know more then each others favorite colors,

And the places that we work. 

We hold hands but don't chain each others souls,

And we kiss each other and don't make any promises we won't keep. 

I trust him and he trusts me,

And we give to each other and he doesn't ask for anything more than what I give. 

I am how he wants me to be,

And he only wants me to be me. 

So while I lay here on my bed,

And watch the little voices crawl on my ceiling,

I know they approve. 

For once they don't stir and tell me to run,

For the first time in my life, we are one.