Who are you?

I am a very average teenage girl that is told to have an old soul.

It's only like that because I didn't get to experience childhood.

I was handed a child at 6 years old.

I compare myself to Red Riding hood almost on a daily basis.

I am accepting, understanding, timid, and stubborn.

Whenever I look in a mirror, the first thing I notice is my flaws.

That's why I hate mirrors.

I'm in the process of learning that maybe I am not as ugly as I think I am.

I hate my hands, but especially my fingers, so if you decide one day to ask me to look at them I will just stick them in my pockets and run away.

I am a musician at home and a psychologist every where else.

I hate uncrushed ice cubes.

When I am bored and have nothing to do, I lay on my bed and pick the paint off the walls.

I only swear when I am really angry about something.

I am not a morning person.

I hate texting.

I like two pieces of toast with peanut butter and powdered sugar on them as an afternoon snack.

Or breakfast.

Or Lunch.

What the heck let's throw dinner in there too.

Sometimes I get catch myself thinking about things like why we have more fingers than we need.

Sometimes I just think I am the only person in the world who feels at all.

I used to hurt myself physically until I would bleed. I even cut myself with a key once.

But now I'm over that and I replaced it with hurting my self-esteem.

I am the only girl I know that likes horror films but doesn't get scared by them.

I'm afraid of being seen without makeup on.

I stutter occasionally.

I am too serious at times and I never know what to say.

I get distracted easily.

Sometimes I forget that I shouldn't spend all of my time thinking about nothing.

Almost every time I miss hear someone, it is something not worth the risk of repeating.

My favorite number is 6.

I despise the frills on the edges of ripped out paper.

I know how to make hearts out of gum wrappers and that's all I do on Sunday if I go to church.

I like odd numbers more than even ones.

I strive to stand out so I could never live in Asia.

I tend to avoid all confrontation.

When I get stressed my fingers peel and I get canker sores.

I'm detail oriented.

And a perfectionist.

It takes me an hour and a half to get ready in the mornings. And that's on a good day.

I can't focus on two things at once when I am talking to someone but when I start working, I can finish and tell you everyone's conversation topics that are around me.

My favorite color is red.

I'm a little bit of a rebel at times.

But I am- in the end- just your average teenage girl.

An Allegiance Worth Forgetting

I'm in love.


I'm in love with an idea.


The idea that maybe, just maybe, you might be worried for me.


I'm in love with a song.


A song that speaks of being afraid for someone.


I just know they are talking about me.


I'm in love with your eyes.



The same eyes that have the knobs turned half way cold and half way hot.



The faucets that run when I speak of all the things I did this week.



I'm in love with the pain.



Only you know how to make if feel so good and hurt so bad at the same moment.



I'm in love with these notes.



They sound almost as if they shouldn't go together,



But the way that they line up so OCD-like makes it beautiful.



I'm in love with an idea.



An idea that maybe one day, I will never have to know about life and it's joys.



An idea that maybe, just maybe, one day we will all just... disappear.



I'm in love with a statement.

"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."

-Napoleon Bonaparte

Distinct Affection

The soil between her toes chilled her to the bone and the moss she lies on soaks in the sunshine from her beaming pale skin.

She listens to the river run as she twirls the flower she picked earlier.

The purple petals spin quickly and create a surreal picturesque scene of wonder and love.

She stands up and runs quickly through the trees.

The wind blows through her hair so softly that it blocks out the sounds of the blue jays singing.

She jumps over the roots that protrudes from the path way she runs down every day and then slows her pace to a steady walk.

She picks the red flowers along the way and creates a head wreath that emphasizes her rosy cheeks and her dark brown hair.

She looks so innocent with her feet dangling from the tops of the trees.

She knows no other world of terror or pain.

Besides the occasional raccoon that comes and steals the apples she picks she knows of no hurtful words or actions.

She is happy.

Until the day that he showed up she didn't know what true happiness was.

She blinks quickly as a shadow blankets her eyes, blocking out the sunshine.

All she can see is his wide eyes and bright smile looking down upon her.

She grasps the outstretched hand and is carried away to a place where the walls were made of planks and souls and the floor is tile that is cold under her hurting heart.

He sets her down on a large bed and tucks her in. Kisses her forehead then leaves her to sleep.

But she can't, because now finally her reality is much better than any dream she could ever have.

She begs him to come back and they sit and talk about each other and how different they truly are until the sun comes up and interrupts the stars.

Established Domain

This is Emilia Gilbreth.

She lives in her own little world that is filled with running through forests in long white dresses and sitting at the tops of trees dangling her bare feet while staring at the sky.

She is the only person who has realized that the reason we stopped checking for monsters under our beds is because they now live inside of us.

She ran away from those monsters and the people who harbored them long ago.

She is happier here in the sunshine.

This is where her family is the buck and his doe and the moss beds are her home.

Where the bears run to her for back scratches and the leaves whisper stories of men with axes and how they were the only ones that got out alive.

One day though her whole world is destroyed when a human comes to her speaking cheap words that came out too smoothly for their own good.

He grabbed onto her and promise to never let go.

He took her home and by then she was walking in the clouds.

She had completely fallen in love with the complete stranger whom she should be thinking of as trouble.

But he isn't.

Will Emilia be with this stranger for the rest of her life?

Has this man been strong enough to run away from the monsters just like she did?

Will she be happy in the human world?

Careful Incision

"Well she hit them with the back of her pistol because they tainted her name and now they'll never think the same."

*He takes a sip of his wine, corners of his lips upturned. He looks towards his smiling wife who is twirling her wedding band trying to distract every one from her flattered rosy cheeks and bright gleaming eyes as she remembers the event.*

"Yes but you should have seen the way that he quickly grabbed the cane from the bucket and swung it behind him and ruined the perfect nose of the man standing behind him. The best part is that he didn't even take a single glance in his direction."

*She dabs the corners of her mouth, recognizing that she is free from the attention he drew towards her earlier.*

"Well, I think that it is time for us to leave. It was a pleasure seeing all of you."

*He stands and folds his napkin and places it on his plate as he stands. She does the same with her napkin and stands after he pulls out her chair.*

*They walk out of the restaurant quietly leaving their guests pleased with the dinner they all shared on this quiet evening.*

"Time to move positions. You do realize that the man I hit that night was that woman's cousin don't you?"

"Yes I did. You seemed like you were getting too comfortable in this town and I've grown bored with it. So I had to do something to change your mind."

"You know sometimes you can be a real bitch."

"Well, it is how it is. You don't need to go throwing names around."

"Names are much less hurtful than what I am about to do next."

*He takes his hand and forms a tight grasp on the knife that was hidden in his sock and plunges it into her back. All the world around her goes black.*

Disregard Our Negotiations

An adrenaline rush

To run a mile.

A kind thought

To be a perfect person.