Shooting for the stars

I have walked many miles.
And watched us go through so many things,
Including break ups,
Lost loves,
And heartache.

And one day I looked down at the ground beneath me,
That was both dead and alive,
Scarred with all the experiences we've had,
And saw a line.

It shimmered in the sunlight,
Brought only hopes for joy and comfort,
And you.

So I crossed it.

I felt like my heart was whole.
The grassy field around me swayed in the wind,
And off in the distance there was a sofa.

I walked over,
Legs exhausted from all the walking,
And decided to wait for you.

I thought that I could stay here for ever,
As long as you showed up to spend it with me.
So I waited,
And waited and then finally closed my eyes.

I fell asleep for a while,
And was comfortable with where I sat.
But you still didn't come.

And because I was sitting alone in the love seat made for 2,
That was just beyond the line I crossed that screamed out "I love you!",
I decided to finally stand up,
And I searched for you.

I looked through all the bushes,
Tore up the grass,
Even walked around the perimeter of the field just searching through the forest,
Even in the night.


But when I walked back to the line and stared at it for a little,
I saw you just across the way,
Just about to step over the "Maybe" line
To go sit in your own little plastic chair that was beaten up.

I screamed at you,
Begged you to see me so you could join me.
And you did,
But you kept walking.

You took one small step over the line,
Then shuffled to the chair in the distance.
I watched you sit,
I watched you accept it.

And I refused to let it happen.

I continued to wait.

I sat on the soft cushions
And just watched you twiddle your thumbs.
I could see how sad you were,
But you still didn't move.

My heart jumped out of my chest,
And broke in my hands after it told me
"He isn't going to move."

So I cried.
I watched the "I love you" line turn black,
And melt away.
Because "I love you" was always meant for two.


I stood up after a little,
Hands still shaking from shock.
And I yelled at you.


I screamed,
"Can't you see me?!"
"Don't you care?!"
"Did you ever love me?!"


But the only answer I ever got was,
"Maybe."
"Maybe we could work."
"Maybe it would be better."
"Maybe I'll come back for you."
"Maybe."



So I screamed and I cried.
I walked in circles,
Stomping my feet and raging at the skies until they cried too.


"I gave up everything for you!"

Little did you know,
In order for me to complete this journey
I had to leave my family behind.
I left my friends there too.
And I chose you.


But even though I am left with nothing,
After I calmed down I realized something.


In my world it is either a Fuck YES!
Or a no.

There is no maybe line.


So when you crossed that "maybe"
It turned to a "no."

So really I didn't have anything this whole time.
And I had been living just fine.


From my knees I stood up again,
Walked forward,
And went into the forest.

Never to see you again.

Because I don't have time for "maybes"

I need to go find my "I love you"