Inevitable, but put off

Tugged the moon into the ground

Turned this bedroom upside down tonight

Took my faith and I breathed it out

The walked right through the cloud of flashing lights

Bright lies.



Pain takes my heart's place

The love we made

We can't erase it

Don't wanna face it



Pitter pat, the angel on my shoulder

Is haunting me tonight.

Tick tock, the clock is getting louder

Ready for me to decide

I've lost my sense of right and wrong

Well-justified my soul to carry on

It feels so damn good to write of the rules

But when a new day breaks

I'm left a fool

I'm such a fool.



Pain takes my heart's place

But your sweet sweet love,

Oh, I can taste it

But still can't face it



Pitter pat, the angel on my shoulder

Is haunting me tonight

Tick tock the clock is getting louder

Waiting for me to decide




The sun is coming down on me

Could fate be so unkind?

Pain takes my heat's place

The love we made remains.

Me, Myself, and I are all I have left

I think I am finally finished.

I won't try to be ok when the songs we sang come on the radio.

I'm done sitting here drowning my sorrows, early into the morning.

I can't remember to breath when I don't want to.

I'm spent on the thought of moving forward.

I am fed up of hearing my heart beat in my ears.

I'm fixed on ending the pain some how, but can't find a way.

I've perfected shaking hands, and panic attacks.

I'm drained of any drops of my will I had left.

I know I said I was happy, but I never could trust anyone now.

I started blocking out the memories, but then they over flowed.

I'm collapsing under heavy thoughts.

I've worn down my finger nails until the bled, trying to get out.

I'm terrified of just the thought of moving into tomorrow.

I've played out all the possible scenarios in my mind, only to come up with one "better" option.

I've fallen down to my knees praying for god to take me home.

I cried out telling the world that I am too broken to move on.

I am too worn to go through this cycle again.

I thought you were my haven, my one safe place. But I guess you didn't think so.

I have come up with all the reasons to stay here.

I told myself that it's ok.

I tried.

I tried.


I sat with empty hands.

I cried when I reached for you.

I realized that hell is just around the corner. Waiting.

I also know now, that that is the "better" option.

Because the pain of you being just out of my grasp, is all too real.

Shooting for the stars

I have walked many miles.
And watched us go through so many things,
Including break ups,
Lost loves,
And heartache.

And one day I looked down at the ground beneath me,
That was both dead and alive,
Scarred with all the experiences we've had,
And saw a line.

It shimmered in the sunlight,
Brought only hopes for joy and comfort,
And you.

So I crossed it.

I felt like my heart was whole.
The grassy field around me swayed in the wind,
And off in the distance there was a sofa.

I walked over,
Legs exhausted from all the walking,
And decided to wait for you.

I thought that I could stay here for ever,
As long as you showed up to spend it with me.
So I waited,
And waited and then finally closed my eyes.

I fell asleep for a while,
And was comfortable with where I sat.
But you still didn't come.

And because I was sitting alone in the love seat made for 2,
That was just beyond the line I crossed that screamed out "I love you!",
I decided to finally stand up,
And I searched for you.

I looked through all the bushes,
Tore up the grass,
Even walked around the perimeter of the field just searching through the forest,
Even in the night.


But when I walked back to the line and stared at it for a little,
I saw you just across the way,
Just about to step over the "Maybe" line
To go sit in your own little plastic chair that was beaten up.

I screamed at you,
Begged you to see me so you could join me.
And you did,
But you kept walking.

You took one small step over the line,
Then shuffled to the chair in the distance.
I watched you sit,
I watched you accept it.

And I refused to let it happen.

I continued to wait.

I sat on the soft cushions
And just watched you twiddle your thumbs.
I could see how sad you were,
But you still didn't move.

My heart jumped out of my chest,
And broke in my hands after it told me
"He isn't going to move."

So I cried.
I watched the "I love you" line turn black,
And melt away.
Because "I love you" was always meant for two.


I stood up after a little,
Hands still shaking from shock.
And I yelled at you.


I screamed,
"Can't you see me?!"
"Don't you care?!"
"Did you ever love me?!"


But the only answer I ever got was,
"Maybe."
"Maybe we could work."
"Maybe it would be better."
"Maybe I'll come back for you."
"Maybe."



So I screamed and I cried.
I walked in circles,
Stomping my feet and raging at the skies until they cried too.


"I gave up everything for you!"

Little did you know,
In order for me to complete this journey
I had to leave my family behind.
I left my friends there too.
And I chose you.


But even though I am left with nothing,
After I calmed down I realized something.


In my world it is either a Fuck YES!
Or a no.

There is no maybe line.


So when you crossed that "maybe"
It turned to a "no."

So really I didn't have anything this whole time.
And I had been living just fine.


From my knees I stood up again,
Walked forward,
And went into the forest.

Never to see you again.

Because I don't have time for "maybes"

I need to go find my "I love you"

I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim

Hide it all
Put that away
Wait for nightfall
Don't ever stray

The demons wait
The demons call
Your room moonlit
They take it all

Your soul's gone missing
Your heart has left
Your hands are shaking
Your eyes have wept

You're all alone
It will subside
It's time, lie down
Just close your eyes

This pain you feel
It will stay
Here's the newsreel
Of your dying day

Different Skin, Same bones

Ever thought of dark things?

Ever had nightmares that make you question everything?

Well this morning I woke up a different person.

I woke up thinking prostitution might be a good idea.

I woke up looking around for something to get high off of,

Just to simply feel a live.

I woke up lonely, afraid, and I stayed that way.

All through out the day.

But as the amazing Leo once said,