Closure

You know, it's funny.

I have become strong but I've also become very passive aggressive.

I heard a quote once.

"People never really change. "

Maybe it's true.

In this case it is.

I realized that our relationship was going to be the exact same as it was before.

Us hiding from our parents,
You pushing me under car seats,
And I being taken advantage of.

It all just became clear that day when I said I could only stay for a little while.

When I was shoved against walls,

And I kept saying "I really need to go."

And you would mumble "Mhmm."

But you still wouldn't let me leave.

And no matter how many times I told you that I felt uncomfortable,

You still persisted.

Now I understand that persistence is the key,

But you were trying to shove it into the wrong lock.

And you know, if you try to hard the key breaks.

Yes I am stronger.
I realized what was going on before it happened,
So I left.

But yes I am passive aggressive.
Because instead of fighting,
I just walked away completely.

But in my mind walking away,
Ignoring your texts and pictures of old memories,
Isn't passive aggressive.

It's smart.

My muse returns

Do you remember the day the music died?

I sat in silence with only the sound of bones shaking to comfort me.

I weighed 30 pounds soaking wet then,

And my joints were visible through my skin before I bent them.

I looked in the mirror and watched the light fade from my eyes.

I watched the smile fade,

And my childhood died and killed my heart with it.


Now that this cruel world has grasped my soul

My head controls my life.

Depression has faded away and Numbness took it's place.

I don't feel the warmth of your skin when I touch you.

But I do feel how deep the wrinkles around your mouth are when you smile.


I miss how that felt.


But that first moment that you looked me in the eyes and told me that you didn't know if you felt the same as I do,

I felt.... Pain.

For the first time in a while I felt.

I FELT.


Then the day the music came back to life.

When you stared at me again but with a different look then two days before,

And told me how you really felt,

I was happy.


I smiled.

I laughed.

I had fun.


I was me.


We were us.





I was happy.

The unforgiving journey

I never walk alone.
Every step I take is followed by another's.
I am guided through hardships,
And led when blinded by tears and scars.

The part of me that walks with me never leaves my side.
He is my family and my protector.

I hold onto his white fur as I wander through this desolate world.
His four legs keep pace with my two.

Sometimes I feel like I am just like him.
That I am a four legged creature and that nature runs my course.
But when ever I do fall down to all four limbs,
He pushes me up onto two.

Reminding me that I must stand and shows me how.

He taught me to love the moon,
And made me bond closely with my family and dear friends.

He made me promise never to abandon those in need,
And only to protect those beneath me.
Never to hurt them.

He is my friend,
When he used to be my enemy.

For he is me and I am him.

He is my spirit.
My guide.


And never does he leave my side as I near my tomb,
But walks ever closer to me.

We walk alone.

My wolf and I.