Just thought you should know

Draw back the bow string,
Shot lined up perfectly,
And the Violins begin to sing
As you move your arm back and forth.

I sway from side to side
In the hands of fate
That have me locked between her fingers,
Trapped.

I think of what I've done,
What I will do,
And how hard it will be,
Not for me but for you.

The tattoo on my shoulder stings,
Reminding me that the flying birds
Are there to help me feel free.
But am I free? Or am I trapped?

My closet is full of skeletons.
I put them on every morning
And strut around when they should be hidden,
I should be afraid.

My 100 dollar sunglasses rest on my head,
My 2 dollar coffee sits on my nightstand,
My new iphone in hand,
And my mind is filled with only you.

I am so free.
So happy.
So scared.
And not ready.

I'm afraid I will only upset you if you saw me.
I'm afraid that you will take one look at me,
See right through me,
And realize that your time has most likely been wasted.

You thought I was perfect.
You thought I was pure.
You thought I was open.
You thought I was everything you could've ever wanted.

I have always known that you are too good for me.
That I don't deserve you.
But I could never fully convince myself
To let you go.

At the end of it all you're still my best friend.
But you know that we are not moving in the same direction.
I'm going down as you continue to rise.
So break out the champagne.

18 and already thinking of my 21st.
How they are planning it,
Like it will be everything you would see on a silver screen.
And honestly I can't wait.

My nails are done.
My hair is curled.
My clothes are expensive.
My breath is cold.

I am no longer who you knew,
Once upon a time.
I am now being me.
I am now free.