Cough Syrup

I will never say this to your face.

I will never open up and let it all out because I am too afraid of what you might think of me.

I am hurt.

I walk around aimlessly everyday only to find out I travel in circles.

I can feel it coming.

I can hear it in every broken smile.

Coming out behind shattered lies of "I'm fine" and "I'm sorry."

Every aching ring of the phone only reminds me of the distance in physical and untouchable miles that have formed between us.

I box myself up just a little more every day.

That box was closed a few moments ago and now all it's doing is turning from cardboard to cold, bitter steel.

The ring around my finger reminds me of what I want but I know that it's not completely rational.

So, "I'm sorry" I stopped talking to you for a moment today.

I just couldn't handle the stress.

And "I'm sorry" I didn't say I love you when I hung up.

I just don't know if I should hold on or let go of that feeling.

The sooner the better you know?

That leaves very little room for a heart break I know I couldn't survive.

I should probably start coming back to reality.

But then I realize.

Life is too short to even care at all.