Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Dreams cause heartache

Dear no one,
I am the type of girl that falls head over heels for anyone that payed attention to me. Or at least I used to be.
I used to pick at the walls next to my bed because I suffered from anxiety and depression.
I believe in the afterlife and I'm hoping to see you there.
I felt worthless until this year.
I believe I was a hippie or a Native American in a past life.
I don't want to make a name for myself, I simply want to be happy.
I love baths and books. In that order.
If you brought me coffee in the morning, I would love you forever.
I'm easily pleased, but in turn easily discouraged.
I think love is real, but for every person it comes in a different form.
Family, marriage, or animals tends to be the main types.
I hate talking about myself because all I want is to know about others
The only boyfriend that I loved dearly, left me. Without a fight.
He actually said its something he wanted.
I fear getting married because I don't want to be hurt.
I hate being vulnerable.
I'm very independent.
I want to travel the world and teach my children of it's riches. And no, I'm not talking about money.
I conjure up deep and sometimes dark thoughts because that's what I see.
I analyze. EVERYTHING.
I'm a very alone type of being, but I have yet to feel truly lonely.
I have few friends because I don't trust.
I let few people know me for the same reasons.
I've been through a lot. It makes me seem older than I am emotionally.
I think. Most people don't anymore.

Dear nobody,
I wish I could find love, and I thought I did, but now I realize that that form of love is not for me.
I now only wish that you will find it.
But now it can't be through me.


Love, someone.

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